A Noise Annoys

But not nearly as much as Brussels. Imagine you worked in a noisy environment, a Steel mill maybe or a construction site, perhaps even a Kindergarten. Hey you stop smirking back there I mean it and so does the European Commissioner for employment, social affairs and equal opportunities. He is going to stamp out (Quietly of course) all noisy workplaces.

Every nursery school, primary school and day-care centre in Britain will have to conduct a "noise risk assessment" in case the din of children is damaging teachers' hearing, Europe's health and safety official said yesterday.

The esteemed official is obviously ignorant of the noise children make, which unlike machines varies according to circumstances. They also have a control mechanism which enables them to work consistently at lower volumes. Its called discipline, but unfortunately this mechanism has been banned by useless Tranzis very similar to our Euro Nanny.

If the noise levels rise above a new maximum of 87 dB, heads, or crèche owners, who fail to take action could face criminal prosecution.

The cost of childcare has just gone up another notch. That’s less women in the workplace or less fertility or probably both. This despite the fact that the EU tells us it has worries about both of these issues. I wonder if they have their own Brussels version of the old clichéd sign you see in so many offices. You don’t have to be thick to work here but it helps. You think you are already having an out of body experience, but the Punch Line is yet to come:

The new directive allows the entertainment sector an extra three years, until 2009, to find ways to reduce noise levels in venues that are hard to keep quiet, such as discos, bars and concert halls.

Welcome to Spinal Tap, the acoustic version.